Download or read book Gnomes in the Barn written by Gene Olsen and published by Xlibris Corporation. This book was released on 2013-05-23 with total page 54 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: INTRODUCTIONS TO GNOMES (if you need one) How big are Gnomes? Not very. A Gnome can ride on the back of a duck. Three Gnomes can ride on a goose. They claim that twenty can ride on a horse. But how would they get up on a horse? I don't know. If you place your thumb on the table and stretch out your little finger as high as it will go, that is about as tall as a Gnome at your age. What do Gnomes look like? Gnomes look like people do. But they have slightly larger noses and cheeks. If they were as big as we are, which they think is much too big, they would look a lot like Santa Claus without the beard. Each gnome family has its favorite color and all the clothing that family wears is in that color with white trim. What do they eat? First, they eat six meals a day. Gnomes love pancakes. They make them in many shapes and varieties. They are also very fond of rice pudding. In the last one hundred years, they have developed a taste for chocolate, especially in or on pancakes. As a rule, if a food is sweet, it is OK. Do Gnome children go to school? Only one day a year. This is one of the reasons that they think that we are not very bright. In one day, Gnome children learn the proper method of eating pancakes and how to take naps. They do not understand why it takes our children years to learn the same things. What do Gnomes think of us? They think that we are big and clumsy, which is partly true. They think that we are loud, which we are. They think that our real purpose in life is to build barns for them to sleep in and to produce and food for them to eat, which is exactly what we do.